Form an orderly mob please, tonight we march on County Durham…

soviet-music-star-300x291COMRADES. It’s been over a year since the last album. The elite McAloonistocracy has been stockpiling a wealth of material which we, the underclass, have paid for by the sweat of our brow, the scars on our bodies, and the purchase of elaborate box sets containing exclusive interviews and signed postcards. This state of affairs CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE.

What do we want? A NEW ALBUM! When do we want it? In a reasonable but not excessively long period of time, bearing in mind the avowed necessity of starting the odd abortive project, restarting another, going to HMV in Newcastle for inspiration, cooking tea for the children, having a few new ideas, doubting the original concept because it’s too close to the previous one, then settling down to not record a few songs from the back catalogue. So by CHRISTMAS 2015 please.

Actually we’d settle for a fan club flexi-disc with a hello from Paddy and a rough acoustic version of “Madman on the Roof”. Which I would PERSONALLY finance, just in case anyone from the inner circle happens to come across this. It’s a cracking, touching, gorgeous song and it should be out there.

But anyway apart from pitchforks and torches, what is the PLAN?

Well a hashtag campaign, obviously. Please add #BringOurSproutsBack to your tweets, and let’s get it trending. It’ll do nothing at all, but it’ll keep the hipsters out of our hair while we organize the…. ONLINE PETITION.

I fear the UK Government, who lack a sense of humour and therefore vet online petitions, would not allow this one through to be debated in parliament, but I’ve found somewhere that isn’t remotely choosy. I reckon about 12 million signatures ought to influence Paddy’s thinking. Please sign up here and publicise by any channel you can find. It’s almost LITERALLY the most important thing you’ll do this week.

If not, I have another plan.

Paddy really really hates cover versions of his songs. So up until Christmas or the announcement of a new album, I’m going to post one cover version per week from the glorious selection on Youtube. And we are not talking Rhodri Mardsenesque or Joakim Milderish elegantly constructed covers. I can guarantee that.

Starting with this rather wonderful version of “I Remember That”. Enjoy please, and should you be a resident of County Durham, turn up the sound and open your windows wide. It’s particularly lovely from about 1:41 in.


One thought

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.