Popshop – Belinda Jones, August 15th 1990

popshopPREFAB SPROUT’S PADDY McALOON gets wet, wet, wet as he takes BELINDA JONES on a tour of Atlantis (’cause of his new single and that).

Okay Paddy, imagine your waterwings came adrift and you sank to the bottom of the ocean and discovered the magical underwater city of Atlantis.

What food would they serve at the Cafe Atlantis?

“Fish and chips! Really! I guess they’re not that good for you but I just can’t stay away. I don’t eat them every day but I’d like to!”

What would the Atlantis weather report be like?

“Not too hot because it’s difficult to get things done. I’d like guaranteed seasons so you’d know every summer was going to be warm or, better still, seasons to suit your mood!”

Would the natives speak Geordie in Atlantis?

“In America they always go, ‘Gee, I love your accent‘, and you feel so goddam quaint, so I think I’d choose a complete non-accent. I know musicians are supposed to appreciate the lyrical quality of different languages but none of them particularly thrill me. Mind you, I used to find Scottish lilts really exotic even though it was only 100 miles up the road!”

What about the standard of living, would it be very grand or back to basics?

“I could go for the general idea of us all living in harmony but as for communes – nah, I’m not a brown rice fan! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all live in mansions in the country, though?! !”

Would the Houses of Parliament have a place in this perfect city or would there be an alternative government?

”Everyone would have an opinion button in their homes on the side of their chair that they would press, so we’d really see what people thought about issues And there would be another button operating an ejector seat for Edwina Currie or whoever was out of favour that week – but it might happen to you so maybe that’s taking it a bit far!”

If you had to compete in the Atlantis Games, what water sport would you choose?

“It would have to be synchronised swimming – one of those Esther Williams jobs (a 30s movie star who was a whizzy swimmer). I always wondered how they made those amazing patterns in the water. Did they use mirrors?”

Search me Paddy. If you fancied a paddle would you choose the sea, a jacuzzi, or a funpool?

”The sea definitely! And if I had to pick a bit of coastline it would be Whitley Bay in Newcastle, it’s beautiful! ”

If a boat capsized, who would you be quite happy to see go to a watery grave?

“I’d like to drown whoever did the Diana Ross remix. The dance beat doesn’t have any reference to her singing and it’s really disturbing. It has absolutely nothing to go with her voice.

And who would you throw a lifesaver to?

“I’d throw four rafts out to ABBA! I wish they’d make a comeback even if they did have to follow current musical trends, they are brilliant.”

What kind of creature would you in this underwater world?

“I’d be a shark! Does this tell you something about me?! Wendy would have to be a mermaid, Neil would be an octopus and my brother would be a barnacle!!”

So tell us Paddy, is the song really about Prefab Sprout bobbing around the ocean with flippers and wet suits looking for an underwater city?

“Noo! I was just thinking of how lots of people go running around the world to find some fancy cause to devote their lives to and all the time what they’re really searching for is something simple like being in love. People spend a lot of time wishing they were someone else or doing something different but when you look back on your life you’d see what you wanted was what you had. Still, it’s nice to have a dream, you don’t have to stop longing for other things just so long as a couple of times a week you tell yourself, ‘I should be enjoying this because I’m young and these are the good times!’”

Also from Popshop, date unknown, but similar period:

D’you remember that poignant letter from dear ol’ Linda – POPSHOP’s number one fan no less – back in issue 14? Y’know the one… where she kept harking on about ‘global embarrassments’ and the like. Yes? No? Oh, suit yourselves.

Well if Prefab Sprout’s PADDY MCALOON had chanced upon such a profound literary effort we’re quite sure he’d have one or two things to say about it all. “Well, people think I’m very precious and even pretentious And maybe even pompous,” he mutters. “I’d like to think I’m just ‘nice’. But then people can forgive a 30-year-old for being foolish. But if you’re 30 or 34 they’ll just think you’re a global embarrassment!”

So there, that’s gone ‘n’ told yous.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.